em on her crawling track

More alike than Different...

My face might be different

But my feelings the same

I laugh and I cry

And I take pride in my gains

I was sent here among you

To teach you to love

As God in the heavens

Looks down from above

To Him I’m no different

His love knows no bounds

It’s those here among you

In cities and towns

That judge me by standards

That man has imparted

But this family I’ve chosen

Will help me get started

For I’m one of the children

So special and few

That came here to learn

The same lessons as you

That love is acceptance

It must come from the heart

We all have the same purpose

Though not the same start

The Lord gave me life

To live and embrace

And I’ll do as you do

But at my own pace.

Author unknown 

Special Time with Logan!

One of my goals for the year is to spend some one on one time with Logan doing some special projects at least once a week!!! I didn't get a chance to post last week so I will post pics from it and this week!!

Last week we made Jello Jigglers and he loved it

This week we made a rainbow cake!!!! 

We worked on a few learning skills without him even realizing he was doing any kind of school. He of course knows all his colors but we worked on adding different colors together to make certain colors. We even worked on some counting when we put the food coloring into the batter.   

We didn't have a white cake mix so we just went with what we had in the pantry it turned out pretty yummy

he was soo proud 

our finished product and it was o so yummy!!!

New Year!

A new year full of new beginning!! Some changes have happened over the last 6 months in our Journey. We became a family of 4. Our family is in 2 different states (while Daddy is in school). We will be moving to a new place in March. 

My goal for this year is to make time for the little things in life. Slowing down and making special memories with my children.

Our first buddy walk!!

Thank you to everyone who came out and donated for our special little girl!!!!!!

alil catch up!

oops things got alil busy!!!

My LiL Man turned 4

My LiL Princess turned 3 months

We took a trip and saw Daddy in Elizabeth City, NC

Visited Nathan, Bethany, Jonas, and Anna in Maryland

Got to see some great friends that we have not seen in over a year

2 months

5lbs 13oz. 19 1/4 inches

you have become more alert when awake

Staying awake for longer periods

Nursing about every 3 hours during the day and taking 2oz of your supplemented bottle at night

Sleeping 6-7 hours stretches at night

Starting to have a few responsive smiles

Loves to be to to rocked

I can't believe that 2 months have gone by. My hearts grows more and more as each day passes.

Wordless Wednesday

Our Tiny Little Blessing!

Emilee Marie

3lbs 9oz 17 inches

We dont always know where our Journey is gonna take us. It may not be somewhere we hope or plan for, but God never makes mistakes and he knows exactly what He is doing even when we dont understand it.

We were not suppose to be expecting our lil bit til August 22, 2011, but from the time I was 20 weeks we were being monitored much more closely because she was not growing at the rate she should be. I was seen by a high risk Dr who would do growth checks on baby girl every 3-4 weeks to makes sure she was continuing to gain weight on her curve. The weeks got closer and I would also be monitored every week and have an ultrasound done. Stressful as it was to be going to the Dr every week at least we got to see our precious baby kicking and squirming inside. On Mon, July 18 after a routine growth check the Dr finally said those dreaded words I was hoping not to hear, "I feel that it is best that we induce, your baby is now measuring 5 weeks behind." SO many emotions, We finally get to meet our baby girl but coming 5 weeks early is she going to be ok. We set the induction up for that Sunday evening.

We had our last Dr appt that Friday and since she had not been as active as before the Dr went ahead and hooked me to the monitor. Everything was great up til the end when there showed a drop in her heart rate. My Dr was going to have to send me to labor and delivery to be monitored over there, after talking with the Dr on call she came back in and said she just felt that it was best if we go ahead and set up the induction. Well, ok, lots of thoughts going through my mind. Gotta call Josh and Mom. What about mom? She is in Mexico Beach, FL on vacation. I got on the phone with mom as soon as I could and told her what was going on and she jumped in the car and headed this way. It was a 8 hour drive from there to Savannah. Josh had been on nights that week and he was home sleeping and his phone was on silent. Talk about stressed. They wheeled me over to labor and deliver and got me set up in a room!!! So thankful that one of my good friends who is a labor and deliver nurse was working this day and was a life saver the whole time that Emilee was in the NICU!

They started my induction. Around 3:15pm the nurse placed the cervidil and I was 1cm. It didn't take long and the cervidil started doing its job and I started having more contractions. Everything was going good and Emilee was looking great on the monitor. I was so worried that I might end up having to have a c-section because at my last growth check they were thinking that she may have a 2 vessel cord and the Dr had told me that she may not handle labor well because of the intrauterine growth restriction. Her drop in heart rate on my monitoring earlier that day also had me worried. I kept asking the nurses and they kept reassuring me that she was doing great. I was feeling great and breathing through my contractions and then my back started bothering me. I was able to stand it til around 8:00pm and then I was getting to the point that I was ready for something. My mom had gotten there around that time and I waited alil longer and then decided to call the nurse and ask for something. She finally came around 9:00pm and told me that the Dr said to go ahead and take the cervidil out. (It wasn't suppose to come out til 12:00am, but since I was responding so well they went ahead and took it out) They then told me that I could get my epidural if I wanted it. I was then 3-4cm. The Anesthesiologist came in around 10:00pm and gave me my epidural. Things were feeling much better, although I could still feel some contractions in my back and my leg was not all the way numb on my right side. At 11:00pm or so the Dr came in to check me and break my water only to their surprise I was 10cm and ready to go. Talk about shocked. 3-10 in only a hour. They rush off to get everything ready and all the while I am now fighting the urge to push. They finally come back in and I start to push around 11:15pm and 3 sets of pushes and our baby girl was here!

On July 22, 2011 at 11:24 our beautiful lil princess was welcomed into this world. She was born at 35 weeks 4 days and was taken right to the warmer. I couldn't believe it my baby was here. I was scared and worried. I just wanted to know that my baby was OK. I saw her as she came out and my heart sank. So many thoughts were going through my mind as I looked at her. After the nurse brought her over, the thought just kept going through my mind, "Is my baby ok? why does her face look different?" It was almost like I knew it as soon as I saw her. I kept asking everyone if she was ok and their response was, "She is doing great. She is fine." I just needed someone to clue into what I was asking without me having to come right out and say it. You never wanna hear the Drs tell you that something is wrong with your baby. I felt like my world was spinning out of control! After being able to hold her for what seemed like less than 5 mins, she was taken to the NICU. Then began what seemed to be the the longest 30 min wait of my life for the Dr to come back in and tell us how our baby girl was doing.

The neonatologist came in about 12:30am or so and told us that Emilee had some of the characteristics of Down Syndrome and they would be doing some blood work to test for it. I felt like my whole world was coming crashing down. I could barely take in what he was trying to tell us and to tell the truth, I can't even remember half the stuff he was saying. I was cold and shaking from my epidural and now this news. I just felt like I wanted my body to shut down. He left and took Josh and Mrs. Shelly to the Nicu and my mom stayed with me. I just broke down in tears and looked at my mom. How could this be happening? I just want my baby girl to be ok. Little did I know at the time my baby girl was ok. She was a very strong, fighting little girl. The nurse came and helped get me in the wheel chair to go see her. I knew I had to be strong for her but it was so hard.

The next few weeks were some of the hardest of my life. At times I just wanted to crawl up in big deep hole. I couldn't sleep at all that night. My mind was going 90 to nothing. I tried to sleep but couldn't. I cried and kept questioning why this was happening to us. Tons of things went through my head. These thoughts now, I look back on and wonder why I thought them. I was scared of the future. Was my baby pretty?? Would I love her just as much as I love Logan?? Was she going to be able to do the things her brother could?? Will I be the kind of mother she needs me to be? The thoughts, questions, and worries went on and on!! I was numb and didn't know how to get past it. I wanted my old life back and didn't know how I was going to handle this new life that God had given me. I know that God does not give us anything that we cannot handle. However the thought, "How could this happen? How can I handle this God?" I had to pick myself up out of the hole I was in and carry on. My baby was in the NICU and she needed me.

God began to show me that this was not the end of the world. My princess was a strong, healthy baby. She was breathing on her own and was eating on her own. She never had to have oxygen or a feeding tube. She was in the NICU/ISN for 2 weeks because she had Jaundice and had to be under the bili lights. We finally got past that and was able to go through the next steps of being able to get home!!

look at all my hair

working on my tan

going home YAY!

meeting big brother for the first time

I dont know where I would be in this journey right now if it was not for God, my wonderful husband, and the family and friends that we have. They were pouring out prayers over our family! Two months into our Journey and I still have some days were I am down in the pits but all I have to do is look at my sweet, precious, tiny princess and I remember how much she needs me to be strong for her. She has given me a new perspective on life. God is showing me so many things through this and I pray that I will look to Him every day for the strength our family needs. Our family is COMPLETE and I thank God every day for the precious blessing He has given our family!!!

I know the plans that I have for you, declares the LORD. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Mr Water Bug!!

Looks like we may have a future Coastie on our hands!!! It took most the summer but he finally took off and is swimming all over the place by him self!!